Illegitimis non carborundum

January 16th, 2008

Wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?  Work driving you nuts?  Frustrated that your team is bound to finish in dead last again?  Tired of politics as usual?  Girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband or life partner driving you to the end or your rope?  Don’t get mad, get a fake band!  That’s right, get a fake band.  Don’t go see a therapist.  Don’t try to eat better and get more sleep.  Don’t read a self help book about moving dairy products.  Just make up a fake band and feel the tension leave your body so quick you won’t even need to take a Calgon bath.  It’s a known fact that over the centuries great artists in all kinds of artistic disciplines have crafted some of their best work from the sturm and drang of their daily lives.  I know I’ve done it many a time and it’s led to some of my best work as a fake artist.  Now I don’t recommend just writing down some rant or publishing some crude or offensive jab at the cause of your angst, because that’s just juvenile and will only lead to more problems.  Instead, be more creative with your vitriol.  There’s no need to name a problem when you can just describe it.  After all if the focus of the problem figures out what it’s about then it’s that much more effective, and if they don’t, well the joke’s on them…literally.  So sharpen a pencil, jot down some of those pent up feelings, and then hit Figment to let the fur fly.  Believe me when I say, you’ll thank me.

Oh, and for those ex-Latin Club members who may have been upset by my use of a psuedo Latin phrase, please save me the correction emails.  At Figment being technically correct doesn’t earn you any extra credit.  In fact, it may earn you a fake band entry!

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