Last Chance to Win!

April 30th, 2008

One last reminder that today is the last day for submissions to both our Figment Soundtrack contest and the Rock Band contest we have been running for listeners of the Blaze 104.1.

If you are interested in participating in our Soundtrack Contest you’ll need to create a soundtrack for a fictitious movie and have it submitted by midnight tonight.  We will be awarding 2 prizes.  The first is for the “Best Soundtrack” which will be judged by Figment’s Industry Heavyweights and be worth 500 pieces of Lucre.  The second prize will be for the “Top Selling Soundtrack” (sales and listens of the soundtrack through 5/16/08 – soundtrack must be submitted by midnight tonight to be considered though) and will be worth 750 pieces of Lucre.  Not a bad haul for creating one album, especially considering the fact that you’ll earn lucre from any sales or listens you garner in the competition.

For those Blaze 104.1 listeners competing in the Rock Band contest, you’ll need to create a band and a debut album by midnight ET tonight (11 pm CT) in order to be considered.   Check out the contest page on Blaze 104.1’s website for contest rules and more details.

Let’s see those last minute submissions! 

Again, my apologies for this late post.  Here’s the latest bands we have picked to click!

Quarters for Laundry – This new band on UniversityWreckords is great.  Their debut album “Learning Through Osmosis” is Dean’s List material!

The Balding Engineers – Are back!  Their new album “Slower Shorter Softer Smarter” is every bit as good as their debut “Diode to Joy” and puts rumors of a sophomore slump to rest.

The Salad Forks – Prior to forming “Just Before Midnight”, lead singer and guitarist Shawn Hale led this 4-piece emo punk outfit.  Although the band broke up in 2006, their last album “Mohawks and Mascara” is now available on Figment!  For the name alone you owe it to yourself to buy this one!

Shop Teacher Tony – Great band name!  This too is an earlier band put together by Roger Beardsley, who now fronts Bag O’ Bones.

Well that’s it for last week.  We’ll do our best to get this week’s picks out sooner!

Have you heard the news?

April 17th, 2008

Wanted to let you know that we just recently added a new feature to Figment.  You can now publish news about your fake band right from your dashboard page. 

Publish News Feature - Dashboard Link

Just click on the Publish News link and write up your band’s press release. When you’re ready to spread the news just click on the Publish button!

Publish News Screen

And voila your news is published right to your band’s page!

News Published on Band Page

So what are you waiting for? Build that buzz!!!!

Sorry this week’s Picked to Click is a bit late.  We had a lot of great bands form last week and some really terrific album releases.  So without further adieu – here are the ones we picked to click!

Darkling – This band seemed to burst from cyberspace fully formed and already has 2 albums that are flying up the charts.  The description of the band is one of the best on Figment.  Really well done.  Check out their albums “Traumatic Insemination” and my personal fave “Darkling” and then buy them!

Deadly Sons of Dublin – This is another master class in how to create a fake band.  Actually had to look them up to make sure they weren’t real.  Their two releases, the “Knockaround” EP and the follow up album “Kick In the Bollocks” have all the swagger of a real Irish punk band.  Buy them!

Just Before Midnight – Here’s another band I could have sworn was real when I first saw them pop up on the Recent Activity chart.  Their first album “Visions in the Dark” shows some promise, but I’m really dying to hear one of the former bands that one of their band members was in and that was mentioned in their band description – The Salad Forks.

Haven 4 Chaos – Good band name, strong debut album – Sanctuary of Disarray”.

Chelicerae – It’s pronounced “kuh-LIS-uh-ree” according to the band, but who cares cuz they just created a great new entry in our Figment soundtrack contest, “Music Inspired by the Film Virtual Turbulence”, which has about 2 more weeks to go!

Didlee Dinkins – Great tag line…good psychobilly!

Sick Like Dog – I’m a big fan of this new band, but they need some artwork for the band and their first LP “Backordered.”  “Smells Like Unforgivable” indeed!

Well, that’s it for now.  Check out the new “Publish News” feature on your dashboards.  It let’s you create fake news for your band that pushishes right to your band page.  So let those press releases fly!

For those of you who just created a band you may notice that the Recent Activity chart says that “Eric” formed YOUR band.  Don’t worry, I haven’t become a brutal dictator who has taken over your band or a meglomaniac who feels he is entitled to your band (that only happens on Thursdays.)  No, I am neither.  What you are witnessing is what we in the internet biz (that’s slang for business) call a glitch (really technical term huh.)  We’re about to introduce some new features and some of them are are tied to the recent activity chart, but unfortunately not everything is working correctly just yet.  If you actually click on the band you’ll see that your name is still credited for creating/forming the band and all lucre earned by the band and their albums is still being routed to your account.  I’ll have more information on the new features as soon as they are available, and for those of you whose band’s were effected by this glitch please rest assured that we are working on it as fast as possible and hope to have it remedied soon.  We apologize for credit not being given where credit is due, so I hope you’ll forgive us.

4:04 pm ET – We seem to have fixed the glitch, but those bands that were effected earlier will still say “Formed by Eric”.  Again, sorry for not giving credit where credit is due. 

Cutting Room

The “get” is that one interview that a reporter or a show booker is dying to, you guessed it, get.  We’ve had a lot of “gets” here at Figment News.  Pastor of Muppets, Can of Wupazz, and The Balding Engineers all graced our blog before doing the rounds of other influential music blogs and needless to say we were thrilled to “get” them.  One band though, continually turned away our requests for an interview.  “Too depressed to talk” was one response we got from their representatives.  Another time it was “busy washing their hair”. And yet another time we got a late night text message that said simply, “you’ll never understand.” Well, we did, and we left them alone to move on to other interviews with more “get-able” bands.

That was until yesterday, when out of the blue I got a call from Gavin Fanboy, the band’s L’enfant terrible manager, who, without a how do you do, suddenly granted me what I’d been trying to “get” for months – an interview with Cutting Room.

(editor’s note:  Cutting Room granted our request for an interview on one condition, that we not print the names of any of the band’s members or direct questions to any one member of the band, but rather print their answers as having been answered by the band as a whole.)

Figment:  According to your band bio you met on MySpace?  Did Tila Tequila have anything to do with you guys hooking up?

Cutting Room:  Tila’s influence on our relationship can’t be overstated. In the same way dark matter fixes all that crazy math that physicists use to explain how the universe moves.

?My Parent?s Don?t Get Me? Album Cover

Figment:  Okay, well why do you think your parents don’t get you?

Cutting Room:  We used to think they were just stupid, but they continue to hold jobs (mostly) and do say things that demonstrate they can grasp complex ideas. So then we started thinking maybe their hearts had died or something, and they don’t get us because they have lost the capacity to feel empathy for F*#KING ANYONE. But if you see their faces light up when one of our friends who’s all clean and squeaky does something “notable” it became clear that, well no, it’s US, not them. I guess they just haven’t been exposed to the same cultural influences and don’t have enough interest in art and architecture to understand how appropriate and sublime our world view really is. I guess when they could have been listening to Nick Cave, they were just more into Huey Lewis and the News.

Figment:  How big a part does angst play in your writing process?

Cutting Room:  Sure, it’s a big deal. I mean I don’t want to make it too big a deal, you know. What if someone read what a big deal our own unease with our perspective was, and it made them change their mind about something, and then they acted on that somehow?  That would make us in some small way responsible for that act whatever it was or may be.  Sometimes we rewrite a song fifty or so times because we’re worrying about the bad things that might happen if someone understood what we were really saying but then didn’t behave in an appropriately tragic way as a result.

Figment:  What’s with all the eyeliner?

Cutting Room:  Fuck you!

Figment:  Oh, sorry.  Do you think Chris Carrabba is a tool?

Cutting Room:  I guess, whatever.  I mean, sure, he understands how little one person matters in the grand scheme of things and all, and he doesn’t mind airing out his own reflections on how hanging on to lost love and publicly writing in detail all the ins and outs of that pain really creates interesting art… but you know it’s just like his pain and insignificance are not that interesting I guess, which may be genius of a sort, but he’s just kind of dick.

Yes, he’s a tool.

Figment:  What makes you cry?

Cutting Room:  We cry at just about everything. Yet we don’t feel we’ve ever truly cried. This week we’ve been crying about the tragic competition between the aesthetic of american style cartoons and animation, and anime. Really it’s all of us who suffer when our myths can’t coexist and be expressed through line art without regard for which one is commercially more viable at any given point in time.
And also whatever terribly bad shit is happening today in Africa.  Not to make light of it, we cry about that alot.

Figment:  Is Emo to Grunge what “The Hills” is to “Laguna Beach”?

Cutting Room:  Fuck you.  Laguna Beach?

<[the band collectively] rolls [their] eyes self consciously and looks at [their]shoes>

Figment:  What’s on your tour rider?

Cutting Room:  Black roses.  Food for our pets.  Details of all of our allergies.  Lighting requirements.  Not that anyone ever reads our rider.

Figment:  Is it true that your lead singer is dating Hannah Montana?

Cutting Room:  Dating might be too strong a word.  Let’s just say she’s a fan with benefits.

Figment:  At what age do you think you’ll all move out of your parent’s houses?

Cutting Room:  Figuratively, we can never move out really.  Literally, as soon as possible. We’re hoping this band pays off well enough that we can buy some trailers.  We think our art will improve alot without having to change clothes so much after we leave the house. Still we get that a large part of our creative process is based on suffering beneath the onerous and cold structure of our parent’s understanding of our failure in their eyes.

Get.  Got.  Gotten.

Picked to Click!

April 3rd, 2008

Welcome to the first Picked to Click, a new weekly feature here on Figment News that aims to give you the heads up on new bands and albums we think you might find interesting.  So here’s the bands & albums we’ve picked to click this week:

The Administration – A Washington DC musical troupe specializing in popular music. They prefer bold highly visible but largely ineffective performances. Sources close to the group indicate they are getting more powerful lately. There live shows are quite expensive, by invitation only, and very secure.  Check out their debut album “DisInfortainment”.

Fetalmania – Unfortunately this Black Metal outfit has yet to release an album, but if their debut is as good as their name then we’re in for a real treat.

Milky Pirates – Got Milk?  If not, check out their debut album “One Shot.”  After all milk does a body good…isn’t that what they say?

Slightly Metallic – This band was formed back in February, but seems to have been missed by most Figment users because they didn’t release their debut album until mid-March, so check out “Sacred Aluminum Vestibule of Darkness and Moisture.”

The Victims – This band claims they are a metal band, but their logo and album cover design scream DIY Punk.  Their debut album is “Buy This Album!”

Phsychotic Chick Pay no attention to the misspelled name, this chick is the real deal.  I think she may be one of my ex-girlfriends.  Check out her debut album Phsychotic Chick from Hell.”

Shadows of the Sea – Emo or Goth?  You be the judge.  Their debut album is “Black Tears.”

Tim and the Animals – Their debut album was a bit derivative, but their recent EP “Serenade of Violence” shows great promise.

xZYWEICx – Five piece death metal from the streets of Greenpoint, Bkln.  Part of the NWOPHM (new wave of polish heavy metal), Zyweic was founded on the concept of sextuple consonants and cheap ass lager.  I don’t know about you, but those are founding principles I can endorse!  Now if they’d only release a debut album!!!

So those are our picked to click selections for this week.  Check em’ out and support the fake bands you like by becoming a fan –

Add to Favorites

collecting their albums –

Add to Your Collection

and giving them a listen!

Listen to an Album

After a month and a half of owning the top of the charts, Pastor of Muppets reign at #1 on the Figment Top Bands and Top Album Sales charts has ended.  GothZilla an emo band formed by 2 DJs from Lincoln, NE has stormed up the charts and toppled the ole Pastor from the #1 spot.  Even crazier, their debut album “50 Stories of Sadness” was only released yesterday!!!  Will GothZilla continue to vanquish the good Pastor?  Or will the Pastor marshal his Muppet disciples and unleash the collective buying power of Figment Nation?  Stay tuned…looks like we’ve got a horse race!