As you know, we’ve been slowly but surely “building a band” together.  So let’s take stock of what we know about our band.

First of all, we know that our band is called Victor Rossi & His Big Fat Posse and that they play Shock-And-Awe Sensory Assault Blackened Deathgrind music.

We also know that the band is made up of Victor Rossi (lead vocals, rhythm guitar), Dmitri Carlson (lead guitar, background vocals), Ryan Drako (bass), and Tina Nelson (drums) – all of whom love quality musical equipment!

Lastly, the band has a strong visual identity and a killer tagline!

So we’ve got a name, genre, band members and our marketing all lined up.  What’s missing?  Who the hell are they?  That’s right a back story!  Leave it to algoreyou to fill in the blanks…

And don’t come back!” Those were the last words Victor Rossi heard as he was thrown out the door onto the cold Oslo streets. “Great, that’s the third band this week.” Rossi lamented as he was ejected from another black metal band. He didn’t get why people were so opposed to the idea of heavy production. The son of a record producer, Rossi had grown up seeing what a could achieved behind the table, and loved it. Growing up in Norway however, he had been quickly immersed into the Black Metal scene, and found himself dreaming of being on stage, done up in corpse paint, shrieking for a living. He began to listen to Emperor, Celtic Frost, and study the guitar work or Ihsahn and the “singing” of Per “Dead” Ohlin, fashioning himself into a hell of a musician. However, he never lost his love of major production, and that ran him into trouble in the Norwegian underground. Everyone wanted to be “troo” and have nothing to do with the “commercializing plague ruining the real spirit of Metal”.   And now we find ourselves back where we stared, with Victor sitting on the street with his Dean guitar hanging on his shoulder. His luck was about to change however, for it was then he heard a message from an angel, “What the fuck are you moping about you little fitte?!” He look up and saw this blond girl, couldn’t be more than 5’5”, standing in front of him with a scowl that would have given Satan shivers. “Who the hell are you?” Victor asked, more confused than anything.

“Tina Nelson, your new drummer.”

“Do I look like I have a band?”

“Which is why we’re going to form one. Look, you sounded like the devil incarnate in there, and I think that enhancing that evil would be the way to go. That, and the pikk who just threw you out was my ex, and I would really like to stick it to him.”

Rossi, getting over the initial surprise of the encounter, started to take her offer seriously.

“Alright, let’s do this.”

And thus they formed a duo, calling themselves Whorehammer, with Victor on guitar and vocals, and Tina handling drums. They entered themselves into a battle of the bands up in Trondheim, driving in a van that may or may not have been stolen from a local church. Arriving early, Victor and Tina started conversing with the other band members. Well, Victor started conversing; Tina punched a guy for staring at her. It was then that Victor met Dmitri Carlton, guitarist of the deathgrind band Scornfire and fellow Ihsahn fanatic. They began discussing the intricacies of stealing some Jägermeister from the bar, when the competition started. Rushing to the stage, Victor and Tina, in their best looking corpse paint, started setting up their gear, when suddenly the announcer said, “And for some added fun, every band will be playing at the same time. May the loudest be blessed by Satan.” And thus, all hell broke loose. Every band was doing their best to overpower the others, but no one could get their amps to 12. Then a loud crash erupted from the left of the hall, and everyone stopped, just in time to see someone pull their head out of a bass drum and smash a cymbal against the drummers head. Then all Hell REALLY broke loose. Fists, drums, and beer were flying everywhere. Victor, pulled off the stage, was brandishing his guitar like a sword, fending off what can only be described as a demonstration of why the zombie apocalypse is going to kill everyone. He found himself back to back with Dmitri, who was doing to same thing. Dmitri threw his guitar and screamed, “Run for it!” Hurling themselves through the throngs of now bloody black metallers, Victor and Dmitri managed to escape, only to find Tina and someone with a broken ax bass sitting in the van. “Drive! She screamed, and the four of them got out of dodge. “So who’s this?” Victor and Tina asked simultaneously of the others companion. Victor introduced Dmitri, and Tina introduced Ryan Drako, the very imposing 6’5” solo bassist who had lifted her on his shoulder and brought her out of the brawl. “So…” Victor said, “Now that we’re all here…want to start a band?”

“What kind of band?” Dmitri asked.

“Something different, a mixture of black metal and deathgrind, but with amazing production to make it a wall of sound. Who’s in?” After a quick look around, everyone agreed and set about coming up with a name. Jokingly, Tina said, “How about Victor Rossi & his Big Fat Posse?” It stuck.

So there you have it, we just “built a band” – Victor Rossi & His Big Fat Posse exist!  Anyone up for creating their first album?  Let us know is you’re “in” by leaving a comment and we’ll assign tasks!

6 Responses to “Hey Victor, What’s Your Story?”

  1. TMTYTF Says:

    I’m in. I feel like I’m good @ coming up with song titles.

  2. Algoreyou Says:

    I’m in too. Like TMTYTF, I think that coming up with song titles is my speciality.

  3. Childofalma Says:

    In it

  4. theHoseman Says:

    Great work on the bio/backstory algoreyou!

    As far as the album goes, I am willing to try my hand at whatever, but would be equally happy to be an observer of what the rest of you come up with.

  5. Tyman Says:

    I’m definitely in.

  6. Furious Grace Says:

    How did I miss this the first go around?! I’m in.

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