Any old schlub can come up with a fake song title and album title, but how many people take the time to give you the level of detail that it takes to create a classic fake album? The real deal will always include such arcane fake factoids (aka faketoids) as production notes (i.e. producer, engineer, recording studio, mixer, mastering studio, etc.), record label info (i.e. © 2008 Burning Pretzel Recordings), publishing info (i.e. Blown Medulla Music, Inc. all rights reserved), and of course the wonderful ?we?d like to thank the following people.? All these faketoids are opportunities to deliver a joke, a shout out to a real friend or just a piece of minutia that makes your fake band, album and songs that much more tangible.  Just keep in mind that on Figment you have a limit of 500 letters to use in the album description box, so edit yourself!

I know, I know, you wanna create an album title first. If you are creating a fake concept album then maybe, but otherwise it’s often a mistake. Let?s face it, the album title may reflect the songs on the album or it may not, but regardless you?re going to have to fill the album or EP with songs, so if you saddle yourself with an album title right off the bat it can often influence the song titles and not always for the better.

Are you doing a serious album or a funny one? If you?re planning a fake album that is actually something you would consider recording in real life (that is if you were really a musician) than I don?t have any real advice, because you probably have some great song titles that have been sitting in that school composition notebook of yours for years. If you?re creating a funny album, then I have two failsafe recommendations ? songs involving real events or people from the news and bad puns! After all, who doesn?t love a bad pun? The real trick is to combine both (i.e. ?Slowly but Surely MacLaine? or ?Boutros Boutros Ghali Miss Molly?). Again totally nonsensical titles will sometimes capture someone?s attention as well (i.e. ?Judicial Shoes? or ?Walking on Stilts in the Mouth of Mars?).

Once you?ve created your song titles then name your album. Sometimes a song title can double as the album title, but if you?re feeling really creative try coming up with something that incorporates all of steps 1 ? 4, because it will really sum up what you?re trying to convey with your fake band. For instance, if you are creating a fake concept album about artists by a band called “Paint By Numbers” you could call it ?Who?s Your Dada??.  That way it’s funny but also consistent with the bands name and the theme of the album.

Every band has a back story ? you know that part of ?Behind the Music? where Motley Crue brags about hosing all kinds of scags and ingesting tons of drugs in an effort to create the scumbag rep they needed to sell more albums, concert tickets and copies of “Dirt.” Speaking of which, can you believe they are going to make a feature film out of thatbook? Word is that they are looking for unknowns to play the parts of Nikki, Tommy, Mick and Vince. Wow, now there’s an acting gig that just screams star vehicle. But enough about those hacks. What you are going to have to do when creating your fake band’s back story is dig deep and really come up with something that will capture your audience?s attention. Think about where your band?s members came from and what experiences helped them become the band they are now. Were they in previous bands? Did they escape from prison? Do they have any brain cells left? Are they hermaphrodites? These are all questions you should consider when creating your band?s bio. One trick is to take elements of real band?s back stories (i.e. Jimmy Page?s interest in Aleister Crowley, Ian MacKaye’s hardcore straight-edge DIY aesthetic, G.G. Allin?s hotdog and banana antics and Blackie Lawless of W.A.S.P.’s obsession with exploding codpieces) and mix them all up into a fine stew that produces a fake band like Fugue Ozzy. Needless to say the more salacious or funny you make your band?s bio the better.

Although most people think this is the most logical place to start, I disagree. Music first, name second in my book. And any old name just won?t do. You?ve got to find something that is imaginative, catchy and memorable. Ideally it should help to sum up the band?s sound, but it?s not necessary. After all Extreme was far from extreme. I tend to go for name?s that make people laugh, because I think it helps them to remember the band, especially a fake band, but sometimes just coming up with something totally nonsensical can create something that everyone gravitates towards.

This mean’s more than just what type of music you’ll be playing. You’ve got to decide how many people to have in your band. Are you a power trio, an orchestra or simply a DJ with a sampling program? Will you have 4 guitarists, an oboe player and a drummer? Once you’ve determined the band’s personnel/overall makeup you’ll need to decide what kind of music will they be playing. I realize that many bands dabble in a variety of musical styles, but pick one to start with, you can always experiment with their fake “sound” later.