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Road Stories is a new feature here on Figment News where Figment bands tell us their tales from the wide open road.  So get your motor runnin’!

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Judging Alice and Mary’s War just recently returned from the road where they were both on the bill of the No Turning Back Tour, and knowing both bands we figured they’d have their fair share of “Road Stories.”  So we asked them to wax poetic about their latest stint on the road, and they obliged.  No turning back now boys!

Judging Alice

Hello all! Daryl Pi here from Judging Alice. So, the band’s manager, Monte, approached me saying “so this website called Figment wants to hear one or more crazy tour stories.” At first I was a little confused, considering how we haven’t been around for that long, but I was still stoked nonetheless, and a lot of weird stuff has happened on this tour. The only flaw is we’re about to do a show, and all the other guys are warming up (and for all we know Niko is probably playing with himself; we haven’t seen him for 30 minutes), so I just figured I’d do it. Let’s get this show on the road, shall we? No pun intended…  

So lets go back in time a little bit: The Unsilencing Begins World Tour, which was with Summer’s Passing, Empty Spaces, Sinthetic, SIX-66, and Cadem. This is one of my personal favorite tours, and the fact that it was worldwide made it all the better. But we didn’t know what to expect with Summer’s Passing. We knew they were crazy dudes, but we didn’t know what they were capable of, which was terrifying cause we shared a bus with them and the other bands. We had just gotten done with the Albany, NY show on the 18th of January, and next was Hartford, CT on the 20th. Around midnight, I was awaken by the words “These gray shadows make the world turn green, yet green is not a creative color!” I was wondering “what in the hell was that?” But it wasn’t over. A few of the other lines I heard was “the sun was pink as my dog turned yellow,” and “Harry Potter made the world explode secretly!” I immediately knew it was one of the guys from Summer’s Passing, because I heard a Norwegian accent. I got out of my bunk, and walked into the kitchen. SP frontman Haakon Johansen was butt ass naked, screaming what I assumed to be a form of abstract poetry, while Empty Spaces singer/rhythm guitarist Brady Knowles was staring, mortified. I asked Brady softly “dude… what the fuck is his problem?” His response was “…he may or may not be drunk, I have no clue.” Now the both of us were staring at him screaming at his dick, when all of a sudden he looked up, threw jalapeno peppers at us and proceeded to yell at us in Norwegian. Then he stopped talking and fell over. He passed out. We immediately checked to see if he was still alive. He was ok. But I had started asking many questions: “Did he have a rough night?” “Does he usually do this?” “How are other people still sleeping?” “Did they prepare for this?” Whatever it was I’ll never know.

Lets fast forward to the present. As many of you know, we’ve been on the No Turning Back Tour (which has just confirmed there will be more US dates in the fall), along with bands such as Mary’s War, Deathbed Confederates, Daisy May, and more. It’s been awesome! But lets see. Crazy stories… hmmm… oh I know! So Micheal Dexter of Angel of Death and I were hanging out on the streets of Baltimore, and all of a sudden this guy came up to us. He was wearing all black, and it looked like he had a gun. He said in a tough guy voice “give me all of your wallets! Oh wait… are you the singer of Angel of Death?” Micheal was absolutely terrified, but he managed to spit out the word “yes.” The robber began to profess his love for Angel of Death, and how they have gotten him through “all of the tough times.” Michael, still terrified, said “thank you very much. Means a lot.” Long story short, we didn’t get robbed, but the robber did get Micheal’s autograph and left us alone.

But that’s what life on the road with Judging Alice has been like so far. Thanks for reading, and we’ll see you all on the road soon.

Mary’s War:

Hey! My name is Jon Jefferson, I play bass for the prog-screamo group Mary’s War, and I’m here to tell you all some tour stories. As many of you know, the guys and I have been touring for a while. We got done with the Tour of Destruction back in April, and we spent the summer on the No Turning Back Tour, with bands such as Judging Alice, Murder13, Sex Metal, and more! And since we’ve been around for 2 years, we have quite the stories for you.  

So for those who aren’t aware, the Tour of Destruction was a year-long tour, going around the entire world (even to some of the small towns for acoustic shows), and though it was exhausting, it was the dream of a lifetime. And the best part was, we were all there for each other. I remember Riki Milligan’s dad passed away when the tour first started, and it was like a small community coming together. It was kind of beautiful. But of course, things got a little weird half way through the tour. I recall when Brady (Knowles, singer of Mary’s War), Greg (Hert, guitarist of Mary’s War), Ken (Jullen, ex-drummer of Mary’s War) and I were doing a meet and greet, when all of a sudden, some hot girl came up to me and said in the manliest voice “I want you to tattoo your signature on my dick,” and I was so weirded out, I called security. But the weirdness doesn’t stop there. After the show was over, the guys and I got back on the bus to grab some snacks and some beer, when we found that same shemale, naked in our bus. Greg fainted, Ken vomited, and Brady and I laughed our asses off before throwing he/she out. No offense to the shemales out there, we definitely honor and respect the people different from us, but this case was just… awkward. Everyone on the tour picked on us for that story ever since, but it was all in good fun.

And the fun/awkward/terrifying stories don’t stop there. On the same tour, during an acoustic show, a Jehovah’s Witness stood up in the crowd, and started screaming “Jesus can save you” and all this other religious stuff. Now, as someone who is Christian, I have already let Jesus in my life, so I didn’t want to hear this crap. Brady stopped us playing, stood up, and walked to the guy to say “I understand where you’re coming from, but dude… shut up. It’s a rock show, not a sermon.” He then proceeded to throw mini bibles at us and the crowd, before security took him away. I guess there’s a first for everything.

And so far on the No Turning Back Tour, the only thing that’s happened to us personally was getting chased down by fans in Worcester, MA. It was a sold out show, and we were there early, and we got bombarded. It was cool, but it was also kind of scary.

But anyways, that’s it for me. Thanks for reading!

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Check out Judging Alice’s latest release “Laserz!!” – EP”

Check out Mary’s War’s latest release “Tell No Soul”

The Forgotten Falling have been pretty quiet in 2012, but if you haven’t checked out their new single, “Like A Thousand Wounds”, I suggest you do.  It’s a moving song dedicated to the memory of the innocent victims who lost their lives on December 14th at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT.

While they may not have spent as much time in the studio this year as in years past, The Forgotten Falling has been on the road throughout the year; playing select dates on the Tour of Destruction, co-headlining Day 2 of Stonekrank’s “Party In Vegas Fest II”, and now sharing the main stage with a bunch of heavy hitters on Werewolf Concerto’s “Back From The Dead and Ready To Party” Reunion Tour.  To call them road warriors would be an understatement.  So what it’s like being on the road with The Forgotten Falling?  We asked for them for some “Road Stories” and the band’s lead singer Hayden Frasco obliged.

“It’s Hayden Frasco here, from the Forgotten Falling! So I was asked to tell about some of the crazy stuff that’s happened to the band and I over our various tours, or in general. Now, asking The Forgotten Falling to choose one, single interesting story is like having to choose one of your favorite songs and then listen to only that one song for the rest of your life. So, I decided to share a few tales with you. Where should I start?

Maybe I should begin with one that happened during the Aphelion tour. We had been in Bremerhaven, Germany the night before, and that day we had just played Halloween Fest in Massachusetts, because Werewolf Concerto had committed themselves to it before the tour. We had all been awake for more than 30 hours on a plane from Germany to the USA, and it was a miracle that we didn’t butcher our set at Halloween Fest. So, that night, we boarded our plane and left for Amsterdam, because that was where we had to be the next day (I’ve never been so stressed out in my life). We packed our shit and left, then fell asleep on the plane in minutes.

We woke up when we reached Amsterdam, and immediately Miyako started freaking out. I tried talking to her, but she just swore (I don’t speak Japanese, or Russian, but when it comes to swearing it’s hard to misinterpret people, especially Miyako, being the fiery little woman that she is) and freaked out. Then, I got a call on my cell phone from Yumishi.

She had fallen asleep at Halloween fest, and in our haste, we had forgotten her… She was still in the USA.

The entire band started panicking so bad. Miyako started crying (I’d never seen her cry before), Wayne started blaming me, and I was like “It’s not my fault man!” Then I made a really jerk-off comment about how Yumishi was so small and that was why we missed her.

That one earned me a kick in the nuts from Miyako.

It was Malcolm who calmed us all down. He told us all to shut the hell up, and then we started trying to find her passage to Amsterdam. No flights were booked until after the concert. She had no place to stay, no spare clothes; it was a bad situation.

It took us three hours to try and find a private pilot that would fly her to Amsterdam on short notice. Luckily Jacob Wolfman knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a pilot. He charged us ridiculous money, but then we got Wolfman over here to negotiate with the dude. In the end, we paid $2,000 for her flight, which was pretty cheap compared to his original price.

Oh man. When she arrived, the show was about to start. We barely had time to welcome her back before we had to rush out on stage, but she didn’t wanna go out with unwashed hair and smeary makeup, and I recall that she really wanted some food. So Miyako starts doing up some cyberlox on her head while I made her some salad (For those of you that don’t know, the Hayden Frasco signature salad consists of lettuce, tomato, fried egg, and little else). We played the show, and it all went well, and afterwards we laughed our asses off. We were so scared, but when Yumishi was here, safe, we couldn’t believe we had been tired enough to actually forget a member.

We smoked a ton of weed in Amsterdam, and then we joked about how Miyako had now kicked two of her bandmates in the balls: Me, and Malcolm a few years before. Damn, that woman is gonna be the death of me.

The next story is also from the Aphelion Tour. It was the last night of the Tour, and we had just played our last set in Tokyo, Japan. That night was legendary, and without a doubt one of our most famous gigs to date, and afterwards all the bands partied like we just didn’t give a shit. I refrained from drinking, because I wanted to be alert, even if I was partying my ass off. You see it’s kind of a tradition that my bandmates play a prank on me every time we accomplish something. After I participated in Prime! My bandmates cut my hair in my sleep, and after Miyako and I participated in Censored For Your Protection: Live, they gave me a pizza box… with a tarantula inside. They claim they play these pranks because they love me, but… ah never mind. They could have killed me a thousand times already.

Well, this night was going awesome. We walked into some random club and started raving to some J-Pop techno stuff. After a while Wayne wants to toast the band with me, since he and I are like brothers. He actually spiked my drink, even though I didn’t know it at the time, and then I passed out a few minutes later. I should have realized it in his smug little grin, ha.

When I woke up, I was tied to a chair. Now, before I tell this story, remember that weird shit happens in Japan. Have you seen their game shows? Their school uniforms? Anime??

So I was in some sort of café, tied to a chair, and then, once the waitresses came in and started singing to me, I realized: I was in one of those Lolita cafes that have been known to eat salarymen whole (An exaggeration).

They were all dressed like lolitas, with cute little dresses and voices, but man their eyes… their eyes were EVIL! For the next few hours, I was a prisoner of the Lolita girls. They fed me strange meals, which were always delicious, sang me karaoke to weird Japanese pop, and made me complete strange obstacle courses where I had outrun a Lolita dressed like Godzilla (I know… What the Hell was going on here?) They also massaged my feet, filed my fingernails, and combed my hair. At this point, I couldn’t tell if my bandmates (I KNEW this was their doing) had intended this as torture, or a vacation.

I later realized, however, that the Lolita girls were just prepping me for the day’s main course.

They started braiding my hair, and one of them unveiled this ridiculous dress, black with red lace, my two favorite colors. Then one of them tied me up and started putting makeup on me. Now, being in a Goth band, I wear makeup all the time; you know, a little guy liner here and there. But I hadn’t worn primer, blush, eyeshadow, and lipstick before since I had gone through my Marylin Manson phase when I was 15. The entire while, they were giggling and speaking Japanese, but I had a pretty good idea what would happen next.

When they untied me, they threatened me with squirt guns and forced me to put on this dress (The sight of a Lolita girl with a super soaker may seem cute, but trust me; it’s so evil and terrifying in person that it could have been the cover of a Living Monstrosity record).

What choice did I have? Wearing a dress wasn’t so bad if no one ever knew, right? So hey, I put on the dress and the lolitas all laughed with glee. They danced in a circle around me for a while, and then one brought out this teacup. Apparently I was supposed to drink the tea, and then I would “Become one of them.”

At this point I had given up resisting the lolitas, so I drank the tea. They celebrated and gave me this pink, little certificate, which Yumishi later translated for me. It said I was an official Lolita.

I’m comfortable in myself; I could endure the lolita’s trials with only a little humiliation, but then Miyako walked in the door, laughing her ass off. I froze.

When I got back to our hotel the band took some pictures of me in the dress and put them up on the band’s website. Hell, I was mortified. The whole thing had been Miyako’s idea, and when I freaked out at her, she just shrugged. She thought it would be nice having the Lolita girls treat me “With such honor” or so she said. I just think she has it out for me, ha ha. By the time we left for the USA, we were all laughing at it. And yes, Cafes like that one are pretty common in Japan. They’re on YouTube if you search hard enough.

So there you have it; two stories from the road, glimpses into the crazy life of The Forgotten Falling. I hope you enjoyed them! Thanks for supporting the band, and listening to me rant about forgetting Yumishi and being the captive for a café of crazy lolitas!”


Road Stories: Eccentric Arcade

October 24th, 2012

Road Stories is a new feature here on Figment News where Figment bands tell us their tales from the wide open road.  So get your motor runnin’!

In our first installment of “Road Stories” Riki Milligan tells us a tale from life on the road with his band Eccentric Arcade.  Riki’s been posting a series of Q&A videos on EA’s YouTube Channel answering questions posed by the band’s fans.  His answer to the question “What’s The Weirdest Thing That Ever Happened To You On The Road?” is our first Road Story and it definitely puts a new spin on the old rock adage “sex, drugs and rock n’ roll.”

A special thanks to Figment player frizbee for coming up with the idea for this new Figment News feature.