July 12th, 2011

It’s been a while since I’ve posted something in “The Back Story Hall of Fame”, but when this story crossed the interwebs I couldn’t help but anoint it with BSHoF certification!  I mean, we all know drugs are to rock stars what air is to us mere mortals, but when was the last time you heard of a rock star knocking off a pharmacy to get his fix, and then taking a cab to his gig?!  Well this one did!

I think you’ll agree this is the type of back story that would sound right at home on Figment!  So while we don’t find drug addiction or armed robbery funny and we hope Mr. Todd gets the help he so clearly needs, we trust that as he sits in a holding cell in Mansfield, MA he’ll find solace in knowing that at least he is now a member of the Figment Back Story Hall of Fame.

Thanks Be Given!

November 24th, 2008

In the annals of rock-n-roll lore not many stories rank as high as John Lennon’s casual remark in a press conference that the Beatles were “more popular than Jesus.” As everyone knows it set off a firestorm of complaints by Christians worldwide, but particularly in the United States where church bonfires took on a whole new twist!  Speaking of twists though, it seems that the story didn’t end there.  More than 40 years after Lennon uttered those famous words, the Vatican has decided to pardon him.  Well thanks be to god!

So if the Pope can forgive John Lennon, it gives us hope that John Deere will one day absolve John Lanolin of The Bleatles.

Sunday Bloody Opinion!

October 29th, 2008

Well, add another professional accomplishment to Bono’s list of bona fides.  Turns out Mr. Hewson, in addition to his work as an activist, philanthropist, peace advocate and oh yeah, rock star, is about to add Op-Ed Columnist for the NY Times to his resume.

Wonder if he, Maureen Dowd and Bill Kristol will form a band called “The Grey Lady”?  More importantly would they be any good?  Not sure I have an opinion on that…but I’m sure Bono does.

Under The Influences

October 13th, 2008

One of my pet peeves about music critics is their annoying habit of incessant name-dropping.  To me it’s often just rock snobbery at the highest level.  In fact, David Kamp and Steven Daly wrote a whole book on the subject called “The Rock Snob’s Dictionary” which is recommended reading in my opinion.

Now that’s not to say that I’m against the use of influences when describing one’s sound, because on Figment it’s one of the few ways that you can, but merely a warning that too much of any good thing can be just that…too much!  Gelf Magazine recently published a great article on the “art of name-dropping.”

So what is an acceptable amount of name dropping?  Well, I leave that to you to decide, but remember there’s better ways to describe your sound than by just dropping a name.

Talk about a back story!

January 15th, 2008

Just when I thought I’d considered all the options available to creating a fake band’s back story (former cross dressing monks, Draino addicts, etc.) I run across something so fabulous it could only be real…and of course it belongs to the man who virtually invented the rock star “back story”…Keith Richards. Ashes to ashes, dust to nose candy. You gotta love Keith.

In the end it turned out to be a misunderstanding or so Keith claims, but whether it’s real or not is irrelevant – it’s the stuff careers are built on!