Cutting Room

The “get” is that one interview that a reporter or a show booker is dying to, you guessed it, get.  We’ve had a lot of “gets” here at Figment News.  Pastor of Muppets, Can of Wupazz, and The Balding Engineers all graced our blog before doing the rounds of other influential music blogs and needless to say we were thrilled to “get” them.  One band though, continually turned away our requests for an interview.  “Too depressed to talk” was one response we got from their representatives.  Another time it was “busy washing their hair”. And yet another time we got a late night text message that said simply, “you’ll never understand.” Well, we did, and we left them alone to move on to other interviews with more “get-able” bands.

That was until yesterday, when out of the blue I got a call from Gavin Fanboy, the band’s L’enfant terrible manager, who, without a how do you do, suddenly granted me what I’d been trying to “get” for months – an interview with Cutting Room.

(editor’s note:  Cutting Room granted our request for an interview on one condition, that we not print the names of any of the band’s members or direct questions to any one member of the band, but rather print their answers as having been answered by the band as a whole.)

Figment:  According to your band bio you met on MySpace?  Did Tila Tequila have anything to do with you guys hooking up?

Cutting Room:  Tila’s influence on our relationship can’t be overstated. In the same way dark matter fixes all that crazy math that physicists use to explain how the universe moves.

?My Parent?s Don?t Get Me? Album Cover

Figment:  Okay, well why do you think your parents don’t get you?

Cutting Room:  We used to think they were just stupid, but they continue to hold jobs (mostly) and do say things that demonstrate they can grasp complex ideas. So then we started thinking maybe their hearts had died or something, and they don’t get us because they have lost the capacity to feel empathy for F*#KING ANYONE. But if you see their faces light up when one of our friends who’s all clean and squeaky does something “notable” it became clear that, well no, it’s US, not them. I guess they just haven’t been exposed to the same cultural influences and don’t have enough interest in art and architecture to understand how appropriate and sublime our world view really is. I guess when they could have been listening to Nick Cave, they were just more into Huey Lewis and the News.

Figment:  How big a part does angst play in your writing process?

Cutting Room:  Sure, it’s a big deal. I mean I don’t want to make it too big a deal, you know. What if someone read what a big deal our own unease with our perspective was, and it made them change their mind about something, and then they acted on that somehow?  That would make us in some small way responsible for that act whatever it was or may be.  Sometimes we rewrite a song fifty or so times because we’re worrying about the bad things that might happen if someone understood what we were really saying but then didn’t behave in an appropriately tragic way as a result.

Figment:  What’s with all the eyeliner?

Cutting Room:  Fuck you!

Figment:  Oh, sorry.  Do you think Chris Carrabba is a tool?

Cutting Room:  I guess, whatever.  I mean, sure, he understands how little one person matters in the grand scheme of things and all, and he doesn’t mind airing out his own reflections on how hanging on to lost love and publicly writing in detail all the ins and outs of that pain really creates interesting art… but you know it’s just like his pain and insignificance are not that interesting I guess, which may be genius of a sort, but he’s just kind of dick.

Yes, he’s a tool.

Figment:  What makes you cry?

Cutting Room:  We cry at just about everything. Yet we don’t feel we’ve ever truly cried. This week we’ve been crying about the tragic competition between the aesthetic of american style cartoons and animation, and anime. Really it’s all of us who suffer when our myths can’t coexist and be expressed through line art without regard for which one is commercially more viable at any given point in time.
And also whatever terribly bad shit is happening today in Africa.  Not to make light of it, we cry about that alot.

Figment:  Is Emo to Grunge what “The Hills” is to “Laguna Beach”?

Cutting Room:  Fuck you.  Laguna Beach?

<[the band collectively] rolls [their] eyes self consciously and looks at [their]shoes>

Figment:  What’s on your tour rider?

Cutting Room:  Black roses.  Food for our pets.  Details of all of our allergies.  Lighting requirements.  Not that anyone ever reads our rider.

Figment:  Is it true that your lead singer is dating Hannah Montana?

Cutting Room:  Dating might be too strong a word.  Let’s just say she’s a fan with benefits.

Figment:  At what age do you think you’ll all move out of your parent’s houses?

Cutting Room:  Figuratively, we can never move out really.  Literally, as soon as possible. We’re hoping this band pays off well enough that we can buy some trailers.  We think our art will improve alot without having to change clothes so much after we leave the house. Still we get that a large part of our creative process is based on suffering beneath the onerous and cold structure of our parent’s understanding of our failure in their eyes.

Get.  Got.  Gotten.

Leave a Reply