When The Bleatles broke up a little over a year ago many a fan thought it was the first sign of the apocalypse.  After all, the Fab Flock was one of the most popular flock n’ roll bands in the world and John, Poll, George and Ramgoat were beloved by their loyal flock of fans.  Some blamed Yang, John’s girlfriend, for breaking up the group, while others were convinced that Poll was more interested in developing a solo career.  Whatever the reason the break was painful for everyone involved BUT the members of the band.  Although they had butted heads at times, the members were all willing to meet up again for one last interview to set the record straight on some of the seminal moments in the band’s fabled history as well as put to rest some of the rumors as to the reasons for their break up.  We met at Poll’s new manger in Knightsbridge and after some hay and water sat down to chew the cud.

Figment:  John and Poll, how did you two first meet?  And what led you to form such a successful songwriting team?

John:  Well, you know, as a kid I had a group called The Cardingmen.  We were playing at a veterinarian’s ball one spring when Poll came up and asked if he could join. We auditioned him…

Poll:  I played Eddie Cochram’s “Twenty Right Flock.”  I think what impressed them most was that I knew all of the words.

John:  And there’s no great secret to our songwriting.  I think sheep have a natural advantage there.  We stand around all day just chewing our cuds and thinking, so…  ”Ruminating” has more than one meaning, you know.

Figment:  Ramgoat, you’ve been called the “lovable” wool top – to what do you attribute your affable nature?

Ramgoat:  I guess I’ve always had a way with the ladies.  They think I’m really cute and sweet…

John:  Yeah, but he’s really a wolf in sheep’s clothing!

Figment:  Poll, any interest in commenting on the “Poll is bred” rumors?

Poll:  Hey, this isn’t virgin wool, if you know what I mean!

Figment:  Your album “Abbey Fold” was just re-released on Figment as part of a re-issue of your entire recorded catalog.  There has been a lot of speculation on the album cover since it’s original release and I wonder if any of you care to comment on whether the cover contains any symbolism?

Ramgoat:  Cymbals?  No, I don’t think so.  I might have had some drumsticks in my pocket, but…

George:  No, I think he means something like whether Poll’s bare hooves and being out of step with the rest of us means anything special.  Or that he’s holding a cigarette and the license plate number on the old car is “28 BAA”..

Poll:  Georgie Boy, I think you’re wrong.  He meant cymbals — you know high hats, that sort of thing.

John:  There weren’t any cymbals, just sticks

George:  Hmm.  I guess I’m always looking for meaning, even where there isn’t any…

Figment:  George, you have often been called the spiritual leader of the group.  Care to comment on the effect spiritualism has had on the group and was that spirituality effected after the rest of the band’s falling out with the Baaharishi?

George:  Well after that cymbals screw up, I’m kinda reluctant to talk about anything metaphysical!   But really, spiritualism has been a big part of what the Bleatles are all about since “She Said Sheep’s Head” and “Within Ewe, Without Ewe.”  I’ll definitely carry that with me into my solo career.  The whole thing with the Baaharishi Mahesh Yogurt was really unfortunate.  You look to your sheep dog for guidance, but he really let his flock down.

Figment:  John, why did you decide to leave The Bleatles?  Was Yang a part of that decision?

John:  I think that as we grow, we grow in different directions, so leaving was really inevitable.  I want to be more than just a flock ‘n’ roll singer, I want to change the world.  Yang has definitely encouraged that.  We’re both into social activism, you know: bale-ism and bed-ins for fleece, and all that.

Figment:  Do you think “Give Fleece A Chance” is more relevant now than ever?

John:  You bet!  You know what they say: “Make wool, not war.”

Figment:  Poll, any truth to the rumors that you’ll be releasing a solo album soon?

Poll:  Yeah, thanks for asking!  I’ll be releasing it in just a few weeks.  It’s called McCardigan.  Actually, I’ve already started working on the followup.  I was going to call it Ram, but now I’m leaning toward calling it Man.

Figment:  Speaking of solo albums, Ramgoat why did you choose to record an album of standards for your first solo release “Ruminental Journey”?

Ramgoat:  It was my parents’ idea.  My mum said, “Why don’t you do something me and your dad can dance to?”  My Uncle Billy said I was too scared to do an album of oldies, and he started flapping his hooves and making those chicken clucking sounds.  He kept daring me to do it, and when he got up to “double-dog dare,” I had to take the bait.  I know I’m no Benny Goatman, but I think it turned out all right.

Figment:  Any truth to the rumors that your manager has sex with humans?

Ramgoat:  Well, he does spend a lot of time in Arkansas.  I hear that kind of thing is popular down there.

Figment:  Is it true that Bobble-Head Dillon introduced you to marijuana?

John:  Well, yes and no…  He told us, “You shouldn’t just eat the grass, you should try smoking it.”  Turns out he was just talking about fescue.  Who knew?

Figment:  Which one of you is most likely to sell out, record bad songs with lame pop stars and generally come off as a tool in your later years?

Poll:  Not me!  I really hate it when singers pair up to do those cheesy songs.  I mean, can you imagine singing some schmaltzy duet with Michael Yak-Son?

George:  Hmm…if I become a tool, I’d want to be something cool like a rivet gun or maybe an adz.

Ramgoat:  Not me!  I’d be a pair of shears — Billy Shears.

One Response to “Chewing the Cud: The Bleatles Interview”

  1. Figment News » Blog Archive » A Poppinfresh Heavyweight! Says:

    […] If you’re interested in finding out more about The Bleatles we recommend you read our interview with the band. […]

Leave a Reply